Roommates
by denytheworld
Summary: Living with Hina isn't so easy.
1. Monet

roommates - an (AU) drabble for monet 3

Leave a **"We're out of milk!"** in my ask and I'll write how our characters would behave _if they were housemates/flatmates/roommates_.

When Hina had put an ad out for a roommate, she had met some… sketchy characters. An endless string of hopefuls had entered and promptly left through the door of her lavish apartment. Ever since her former roommates moved out, she had been on the search for someone suitable.

After an uncomfortably long interview with a perverted blonde, Hina had almost given up. And then came along Monet.

The moment she'd seen her, Hina knew they would get on well enough. The woman was the research assistant of one Caesar Clown. She definitely could afford the rent. And she was neat, quiet and most importantly, Monet did not resemble, in any way, shape, or form, a perverted water imp.

"Have I ever told you how glad I am for your existence?" Hina said, breaking out of her own thoughts. From her place on their sofa, she had a clear view of Monet. It was tax season and Monet had taken over their kitchen table with her bills.

"Mmm…?" Preoccupied as she was, Hina doubted Monet would have even noticed if she tried to kill her pet parrot… again. The month long fight that ended with an astounding loss on Hina's part had brought an extra member to their apartment. Monet's pet parrot, _Harpy_. How she hated Harpy.

Hina was and forever will be of the opinion that 'Harpy' was a demon-possessed beast that had broken out of the deepest levels of Hell. It was just her luck the best roommate she'd had in ages was its owner. "You know…"

"Don't even _think _about it, Hina." Came the reproachful and wary voice of a pet owner.

"I wasn't thinking anything. Hina's hurt, Monet."

"Crawwwk, she was thinking something! Crawwww." And there went that beast. Just who was the one tolerating its incessant racket? Hina shot the thing her patent death glare. Polly needed to shut the fuck up before Hina did something about it.

"Right…" Monet wasn't impressed but she let it drop.

"Love you too." Hina laughed.

"Craaaawww, love you, love you."

…That fucking bird.


	2. Monet and Harpy

colours - a drabble for monet

Leave a "**Drink Me**" in my ask, and I will write a drabble about our characters being drunk together

"You know…" Hina sighed wistfully, closing her eyes and basked freely under Monet's skilled hands. "Blue things are nice."

There was silence and if it weren't for Monet's own quiet laughter, mellow and secretive and rare as it was, Hina would have thought her roommate hadn't heard her. "Blue things are nice."

Hina grumbled then, displeased. Monet obviously hadn't a clue of the context. Blue things had _meaning. _Monet had agreed so quickly and without thought. The woman was treating her like a child that needed to be mollified. "Green things are nice too." Hina tried again.

Her roommate's long fingers didn't stop their progress through the strands of her pink hair. "Of course. Green things are nice too." And again, Monet accepted her statement as another meaningless comment. Didn't the woman understand? Hina was trying to tell her something. And dizzily, Hina thought, if she didn't tell her now, she'd forget.

However, Monet's lack of comprehension was getting frustrating. And she was tired. And she had too much. That was clearly evident by the amount of empty bottles surrounding the two of them. And Monet's lap was so warm and her fingers were so _good. And what had she been trying to tell her again?_

Oh. Right…

She wasn't going to give up. "Red things are okay… they clash with Hina's hair though. Hina opened an eye then and smiled up at the blurry figure that was Monet. "It clashes with you too…ha…" Monet nodded, patient as ever.

"And…and… yellow… Hina…yellooow…" There was no point. Monet was already nodding absently. Obviously, her alcohol-addled mind was somewhere else right now. Hina sighed and allowed herself to doze off. She'll tell Monet she could keep her damn parrot tomorrow morning.


	3. Zoro

Directions - a drabble for Roronoa

Leave a **"We're out of milk!"** in my ask and I'll write how our characters would behave _if they were housemates/flatmates/roommates_.

Hina comes home with tape.

Zoro didn't think too much of it. So maybe she breaks a lot of things? As long as she doesn't break his shit, then he was fine.

What he didn't get, as he watched her from his place in their shared living room, was why she was taping the brightly coloured tape onto their floor. "What are you doing?" Zoro asked tentatively.

While they had been roommates for a few days now, they weren't particularly close. In fact, if it wasn't for Bonney (who had introduced Zoro to her) they probably would have never started living together. But Hina had needed a roommate and Zoro had just been evicted so…

They weren't all that alike. Hina was rather uptight in his opinion… and scared him a little. Why were all the people Bonney friends with scary as fuck?

He was a little surprised when she did answer him, "Bonney told Hina you got lost easily."

What?! "No!" Damn it Bonney! He didn't get lost! Everything just _moves_ on him!

She smiles at him then, condescending and amused in equal amounts, "That's what Bonney said you'd say." She raised the hand holding a roll of bright green tape. "Hina will keep these lines on the floor for a month. You'll need to learn how to get around by then, understood?"

If it was even possible, his face got even redder. "I know the apartment just _fine_!" You get lost to the washroom just one time…

"Roronoa. Don't lie, Hina understands." Wait. She did? Zoro looked at her, hopeful and apprehensive. Previous experience has taught him the hard way that when a woman says she 'understands'… "Hina understands you're too proud to admit your failings. It's alright." She gestured at the other bag she had upon her arrival earlier. "Hina bought signs too."

"DAMN IT, HINA!"

Hina smiled. She was the most considerate roommate, ever.


	4. Sanji

Roommates - a drabble for Sanji

Leave a **"We're out of milk!"** in my ask and I'll write how our characters would behave _if they were housemates/flatmates/roommates_.

Roronoa's face had been pinned to a dartboard.

The dartboard presides on the living room wall, easily seen by any and all guests who dared to drop by. His scowling visage had already been littered with holes, evidence of past abuse.

Hina was still mad.

So more abuse was sure to come.

This was all his fault anyway, abruptly moving out to live with Bonney in a larger apartment, but Sanji couldn't help but fear for his own safety as well.

Sanji wasn't stupid. He knew when a woman truly, really would rip his throat out and Hina was that sort of woman. So he kept to himself mostly, making sure not to cross paths with her, irritate her or make a mess. After a month of living together, Sanji had almost gotten used to this.

It was almost like living alone. The only indication that he was even sharing a living space was the regular increase of holes on marimo's damn ugly mug and the occasional glimpse of a statuesque beauty in a business suit strutting out the door in the mornings.

Yes, life was alright.

He was living with a beautiful woman. Good.

He was living with a beautiful woman who scared the living shit out of him. Not so good.

It balanced out, in Sanji's mind.

"Hina had been expecting you."

That was the first thing he heard when he stepped through the door, already depressed and downtrodden and heartbroken as fuck. The sight of Hina, casually reclining on their living room couch with a glass of wine in hand struck true fear in his heart.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. What had he done?

"Y-yes?"

_Surviving Hina as a roommate rule #1 (as that shit marimo had put it): don't mess up. _

She placed the glass down on the coaster, neat and tidy as always, before stepping towards him. Her face was neutral as always so Sanji was unable to figure out just what was going on. But he probably messed something up, right? Why else would she be waiting for him?

Fuck.

This was it.

Death by beautiful woman.

Sanji closed his eyes, but instead of a punch to the throat (as Zoro had experienced in the past), he felt arms wrap around his shoulders and Hina's subtle perfume enveloped him.

"…There, there…"

Oh.

Well, he could live with this too.


End file.
